Oh Reeeeeeeaalllllllly?? Ya Think So, Doctor?

If you are one of my friends in LA, that means we've worked together at some point. That's the only way I've ever met people out here. And I if I did work with you, it was most likely at Infosearch Media. Of course, we had better days when it was just called Traffic Logic.

A large percentage of my identity for over three years was based on Traffic Logic. If I was having a good month, I was happy, partying, etc.. If I was having a not so great month, I'd stay in a lot, and even get sick more often. I'm a badass salesman, but we all have our ups and downs. My ups were pretty damn high, and my downs weren't really that bad.

This morning I was forwarded a couple of emails from my old boss at Infosearch. Yesterday, he resigned his position. Upon leaving he wrote an extensive email thanking everyone who helped get the company to this point. (It should be noted that the company isn't exactly in great shape, so I'm not sure where the positivity is coming from. I mean, he's resigning. Would you resign from a cushy job if everything was peachy? You've ignored your family for six years and now you want to focus on them? Come on. You've got another company coming, don't cha?)

Sorry for the rant. Back to the point...

He had a laundry list of people to thank. There were several key people left out. Allow me to publicly add these people to the list:

Jim Derwin
Kim White
Heather Schoenholz
Tom Elliott
Hannah Bubis
Shanti Braford

Mr. Former Bossman, while those you listed in your email were absolutely assetts to the company, to ignore the contributions made by the six people above is outright insulting. (I'm even leaving someone out, but totally on purpose because I LOATHE him.) Kim, Heather, and myself were responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars in revenue each month when you had NOBODY else to bring in money to pay the salaries of the people you mentioned in your email. Including your $300k per year of bullshit. We were also responsible for hiring and training Tom and Hannah who were top revenue generators in their own right. I should've expected this. You never gave us (actually just me) credit where credit was due while we busted our ass for you, why would you give it now? Did you know that all those people you did thank actually despised you and still do to this day? The only reason they ever agreed with you, or were pleasant to you was because you paid them, and promised them millions of dollars for their dedication. Well, we all were dedicated. And we all have nothing to show for it except new jobs. You know who else wrote a resignation letter today? Donald Rumsfeld. You're in great company, Steve. You have no idea how fitting that is.

The other email that was sent to me comes from my friend Bill who does sketch comedy in his spare time. He recently did a skit about eharmony.com, the dating site. Watch it here. He made a clever play on words calling it "Anal Harmony." I'm not gay or a gay-basher, but that's pretty funny. Maybe I just have a sense of humor. Well, our old boss happened across this skit online to see what his old punching bag, Bill, was up to these days. I guess he didn't enjoy the skit. Here is his email to Bill:
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"anal harmony"??? Bill - I know where you come from. This is not you. Don’t be lured by the glitzy lights of Hollywood. You are extremely bright and have a lot of creativity… use it for good, not this garbage.? Hollywood is not the lifestyle you want… just try to think of anyone in Hollywood who has gone down your path who ends up old and happy. I know you'll be upset reading this, but maybe some day you'll think differently.

Hope all is well,

Steve Lazuka
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Seriously, we all used to get shit like this from this guy all the time. He sat up on this high horse trying to be the moral standard. So I'm wrong when I make dirty jokes with my friends, but he is right to treat people like shit and violate almost every labor law in California? Just another hypocritical Republican. Steve, we no longer work for you and therefore don't have to pretend to like you anymore. In fact, we've all been able to carve out our own positions in the online world, where we actually have a better reputation than you. If I were you, I'd be kissing our asses now. You have to think Long Term Steve.