Seven Shopping Days of Hell

Quick note from last week...

It's amazing the feedback I'm getting from my previous post. There are people coming out of the woodwork to thank me and compliment me on it. People I haven't spoken to in months, even years. Just goes to show you that I wasn't alone in how I felt about the way we were treated, how our accomplishments were ignored, and how disappointing the whole situation was/is. It's a shame what happened there. He was a shitty businessman lucky enough to have hired a lot of brilliant people that kept the company going. Only he thought he was the brains behind the operation, hence the $0.20 stock price. As fired up as I was in my post, it was nothing compared to what Bill (the comic that was berated for joking about butt play) replied directly to Steve. Highest of High Comedy.

Anyway, back to more current affairs...

Christmas is one week away and this year I'm actually finished all of my shopping. I decided to do all of it online. Did I miss out on some incredible deals at various retail outlets? From what I hear, yes. Is it worth paying $10 more per item to not have to deal with the malls and all the bullshit that's involved in there? Abso-fucking-lutely. This is what the extra $10 paid for:

1. No sitting in traffic - Inevetable in LA.

2. No scavenging for parking spaces - Is there a more frustrating experience than driving around a carbon monoxide filled parking garage looking for an open spot? Then you see someone get into their car, so you put your blinker on to claim the spot only to have to sit there for five minutes while you wait for the dumbass to figure out how to put the car in reverse and leave.

3. No fat women bumping into me and not excusing themselves - Are fat women so bitter about being fat that they want to take it out on everyone else? Shouldn't fat women try to win you over with their personality since they have nothing to offer looks-wise? To fat women everywhere: I'm sorry you have no self-control and have to eat everything in sight, then just lie around. The next time you bump into me because your waddling as fast as you can to the clearance rack and don't excuse yourself, I swear I'm going to kick you in the cankles.

4. No booger eaters (what I call kids) screaming and crying - All my close friends know how much I hate kids. I also despise their parents for not controlling them in public places too. Screw the "time out" shit. Fuckin smack the kid and tell him if he/she doesn't shut up, Santa isn't coming this year. If that doesn't work, they've done some amazing things with duct tape I hear.

5. No piped-in Christmas music - I haven't heard a new Christmas song in years. Was Bob Geldof's, "Do They Know It's Christmas," the last original Christmas song made? That was exactly 20 years ago. So we, the consuming public, listen to the same recycled songs year in and year out. Some of you hum and tap your foot, some of you sing along, and some go about completely oblivious. Either way, I think I'm the only one in the store looking for the self destruct button.

6. I slept in until 11:00am on Black Friday - My girlfriend, my mom, and apparently millions of others were in line at various stores at 3am the day after Thanksgiving. I was in my bed sleeping. And very warm. Very, very warm.